Patrick and Gracie have small bladders. They need to empty them often, because they just can't contain a whole lot of wee-wee. So, overnights are a particularly difficult time for them. If we don't get them on the potty before the dam bursts, we have stinky sheets and blankets to wash, which is really a pain in the rear-end.

We've started a new habit wherein Tom and I take them to the potty one last time before we go to bed, just to try to ensure that the sheets stay dry all night. There are few things more irritating than having to get up in the middle of the night and change the sheets on two beds: "Al Gore's Awesome You!!" motivational tape series is more irritating, but that's about it. You might be wondering why we just don't do Pull-Ups, and save ourselves the trouble. Well, the answer is two-fold: 1. I don't want Patrick to get dependent on Pull-Ups to get through the night, and have him still wearing them when he's 16. 2. Gracie refuses to wear Pull-Ups EVER. She is a "big giwl" and wholeheartedly believes that she doesn't need them.

So, each night, one of us takes Gracie and Patrick to the potty before we go to bed. I usually pretend to be asleep so that Tom has to do it (damn! He's going to read this and learn my trick!), but every so often I take them. Tonight, when we got home from a party and Tom was driving the babysitter home, I took it upon myself to take the kids potty.

First, I went in to get Patrick. He was completely sound asleep. He sleep-walked to the bathroom, I got him set to go, and I leaned him up against the toilet. Still asleep, he proceeded to deposit a gallon or so of wee-wee in the potty. When he was done, I helped him back into his pajamas, and he sleep-walked back to bed.

Next, it was Gracie's turn. I picked her up from her bed, which was all sweaty because she had covered herself with about 6 blankets, and carried her to the potty. I put the potty seat on, put her on the potty, and she did her wee-wee. She, too, was sound asleep throughout the entire process. When she was done, I wiped her and put her back to bed.

What amazes me is that I can take these kids from their warm cozy beds into a freezing cold (well, not really, but I use "freezing cold" for dramatic effect) bathroom, make them go potty, and put them back to bed without them ever even opening their little eyes. I can't imagine being able to carry out that particular bodily function while asleep But, I guess they can, since if I don't take them sleep wee-weeing, they still wee-wee in their sleep - it's just that they don't use the toilet, but their beds, instead.

And that makes more work for me. And I don't like extra work. I like to eat bon-bons.